Some time between the ages of two and four, most children will develop a fear of something.
Loud noises, the dark, even a trip to the doctor or dentist can set a young child’s heart racing and cause a yearning to cling to mum or dad’s legs. Fear is a normal part of early childhood development and fear of animals is extremely common, particularly around the age of three.
feeling afraid
Fear is a protective instinct. If a children feel a particular animal is a threat to their safety, they will feel afraid. The physical qualities of many animals can be quite threatening:
- Sheer size: farm animals such as cows and horses can be overwhelmingly large to small children. Even cute little fluffy lambs can seem big and scary.
- Sharp teeth: dogs and cats have the hugest yawns which show off every single one of their big sharp teeth! What if it bites me?
- Hurting feet: a cat’s paws hide sharp, scratching claws. Dogs have sharp toenails and big heavy feet and they don’t look out where they step when they are playing!
- Fast movements: cats skitter and pounce, dogs run, jump and chase. Insects are another cause of fear in young children, particularly those that fly. They flit around the room so quickly. What if they land on me? What if they sting me?
Sometimes fear of a particular animal may stem from a scary encounter, such as being chased (or even just sniffed) by a large dog, or stung by a bee. Other times, children actually learn to be afraid of certain animals by watching their parents’ adverse reactions. The media can also play a part; repeated reports of horrific dog attacks on the news, or a video or television programme that involves animals behaving in a frightening way.
Most often, however, children seem to develop fears for no other reason than their own perceptions and feelings of helplessness.
handling fears
If handled sensitively, most childhood fears disappear in time, just like many other stages of behaviour. Children ‘grow out’ of their fears as they mature and gain more experience in life. In the meantime, parents can help their children cope with their feelings and over time, may gradually be able to defuse or desensitise potentially scary situations.
First and foremost, no matter how unreasonable or irrational your child’s fear may seem to you or others, accept that it is very real to your child. Compassion and understanding should underlie everything you say and do as you help overcoming of the fear. It is easy to become frustrated but getting angry, ridiculing, or forcing your child to face the object of the fear will not help. Worse, it will likely actually prolong the problem by reinforcing the fear.
It can be difficult when you are visiting family or friends with an animal that frightens your child. Explain what is happening with your child and ask if there is somewhere for playing away from the animal, rather than expecting the family pet to be restrained. Some pet owners may be less understanding than others so if you can’t create a situation where your child feels safe, it may be best not to visit for a while as your child’s safety and emotional well-being are your priority.
Acknowledge your child’s feelings as a matter of fact: “You don’t like being around the dog. It makes you feel scared.” Encourage your child to talk about how he or she is feeling, although avoid overdoing it as you may reinforce your child’s fears with too much attention. But do offer comfort and reassurance.
You may be able to help your child build confidence by slowly exposing him or her to the animal from a safe distance. For example, if scared of dogs (as many young children are) visit a puppy in a pet shop. You could read stories or watch a movie together that involves safe, friendly relationships between children and dogs. Do this gradually over a period of time. Confidence is built step by step.
When your child is ready to progress, you could organise a short visit with a friendly dog that is tightly controlled by its owner, but don’t force your child to interact with the dog if at all not ready to do so. The idea is to slowly build up positive, successful experiences.
playing safe
At the same time as creating positive experiences, teach your child how to be safe around animals:
- Never approach an animal without asking the owner’s permission first.
- Stay in front of animals so the animal can always see you.
- Pet animals gently - never pinch, pull or tease an animal.
- Keep away from animals when they are eating or sleeping or chewing on a bone or toy.
- If an animal frightens you, walk away slowly. Don’t run or scream as this may excite the animal into chasing you.
